Pre-Ramadan Ramblings

3:11 PM

Assalamualaikum and hello :)

As I am writing this, I am actually having mixed emotions. First and foremost, tomorrow is the day I'm going to catch my flight back to Malaysia and I'll arrive on Saturday at 8.40pm according to the schedule insyaAllah. Of course I am happy about going back to my beloved homeland that I've missed pretty badly. I'm happy that I'll be able to be with my family again, mak ayah, abang and bangah. Especially bangah, the closest to me for he would always layan me, take me here and there and belanja me tengok wayang, eat, and jalan jalan. I would not need to spend a penny whenever I'm with him. What a nice brother I have hihi.

Secondly, I am also anxious. About what exactly? Well, I promised myself I won't be talking much about my personal life but all I can say is, this summer break insyaAllah it will be the first time ever, ever, that I'm gonna meet someone face to face. After being introduced by my best friend here in Egypt, and getting to know each other, this might be it. I don't know what to expect, and I dare not put high expectations. I'm nervous, and I do have my insecurities (about myself especially). However, I'm only hoping for the best, and may Allah bless us both and make this friendship last and may it end well. InsyaAllah.

To tell you the truth, my emotion state right now is not that good. I had been having an over-dramatic period, whereby I'm being perhaps irrational and neurotic. I don't know. All I know is I always feel like crying and I'm helpless. I was sulking big time, against the world. Hmm. Actually, "world" is just a metaphor, I'm not depicting the whole world, it's something specific. But I'm not going into details. I mean come on, how many of you actually enjoy some crazy woman writing her heart out and saying stuff that might just not make sense? Haha. Whatever it is, I decided to make myself 'ghaib' for a while. I guess that is what I need at the moment. The constant feeling of someone not caring or ambil kisah about you is sometimes sickening. It sucks when you alone yang persistant, macam embarrassing in a way. So, escaping might just be my way out at this period of time.

Seriously, I'm having cocktails of feelings. Happy, anxious, emo in a way, but actually tak sabar nak face the coming days. I don't know how to put it in words. Le sigh.

Oh and yeah, Ramadan is here people! The holy month of Ramadan that comes only once a year and kita pun tak sure if we are able to get through until the next one. Life is too short you just don't know if you'll live long enough to meet the next Ramadan kan? Here in Egypt, esok dah mula puasa. Friday the 20th is the first day of Ramadan in Egypt, while in Malaysia the first day of Ramadan is the 21st of July *cough cough*. So, my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters, Happy Ramadan Kareem/ Kulli Sannah Wa Enti Toyyyibin (that's how they say it over here in Egypt hihi). May we make the best out of it, and may Allah bless us all and kurniakan pahala berlipat ganda to us all. InsyaAllah. Let us race to gain His blessings.

That is all from me as of this moment. InsyaAllah will be writing again once I'm back home heeeee.  Esok tengahari dah nak naik transport gi airport so by noon dah kena tutup laptop and all. This will be my last post from bumi Mesir yang barakah ini. Aww sebak pulak bila cakap macam tu. I'm gonna miss this bumi anbiya'. Suasana Ramadan kat sini memang meriah but tak dapat merasa lagi. Maybe in later years perhaps. Signing off right now, selamat berpuasa okay :)

Au revoir.


p/s: If you happen to read this post, my tumblr 12am on the 21st. Goodbye for now.

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