I have way too many fears.
I love to daydream, and I always imagine myself overcoming the issues I have within me. It's nice to see myself as that fearless, adventurous character; in my head at least. However, the truth is I'm not. I really am not. I have so many doubts, so many excuses, so many things going through my mind that would eventually hold me back from propelling myself forward.
Where do I start? I mean where do I push the restart button to change myself, and start anew; become a different person who doesn't hesitate and just do things as she likes? If only things can be as simple. For example, I have this fear of driving. It scares the hell out of me, seriously. Despite the fact that I managed to attain my driver's license at 18, driving is not my forte. I can drive, sure I can. I learned how to, but I'm just terrified of steering the car; of me controlling it's movement. Other vehicles on the road, especially lorries and motorcycles; they scare the crap out of me. Many people would definitely not understand why I have to be that scared; I myself don't know why. I was once involved in an accident, but alhamdulillah my aunt and I were fine. Maybe I was traumatised, or maybe I am weak-hearted as well.
The question now, how do I overcome that fear of mine? It's quite a problem, because we need to go here and there; in order to do so I need to drive lah obviously! It's very limiting because I have to depend on others to take me somewhere. I can drive within the area I live in, but that's about it. Tomorrow, my friends are planning for a swimming sesh in Putrajaya; that's like 45-minutes drive from Shah Alam. If Mimi wants to join them, Mimi has to drive herself there. She is contemplating right now. She knows she can drive, but she is just scared of the idea of her driving on the highway, with all the lorries and cars on the same road.
The only thing that is standing in her way right now is that fear. Ketakutan. If she can fight it, she might be able to enjoy her time swimming with her friends tomorrow. She might, or maybe she will?
I love to daydream, and I always imagine myself overcoming the issues I have within me. It's nice to see myself as that fearless, adventurous character; in my head at least. However, the truth is I'm not. I really am not. I have so many doubts, so many excuses, so many things going through my mind that would eventually hold me back from propelling myself forward.
Where do I start? I mean where do I push the restart button to change myself, and start anew; become a different person who doesn't hesitate and just do things as she likes? If only things can be as simple. For example, I have this fear of driving. It scares the hell out of me, seriously. Despite the fact that I managed to attain my driver's license at 18, driving is not my forte. I can drive, sure I can. I learned how to, but I'm just terrified of steering the car; of me controlling it's movement. Other vehicles on the road, especially lorries and motorcycles; they scare the crap out of me. Many people would definitely not understand why I have to be that scared; I myself don't know why. I was once involved in an accident, but alhamdulillah my aunt and I were fine. Maybe I was traumatised, or maybe I am weak-hearted as well.
The question now, how do I overcome that fear of mine? It's quite a problem, because we need to go here and there; in order to do so I need to drive lah obviously! It's very limiting because I have to depend on others to take me somewhere. I can drive within the area I live in, but that's about it. Tomorrow, my friends are planning for a swimming sesh in Putrajaya; that's like 45-minutes drive from Shah Alam. If Mimi wants to join them, Mimi has to drive herself there. She is contemplating right now. She knows she can drive, but she is just scared of the idea of her driving on the highway, with all the lorries and cars on the same road.
The only thing that is standing in her way right now is that fear. Ketakutan. If she can fight it, she might be able to enjoy her time swimming with her friends tomorrow. She might, or maybe she will?
